TBGSDC Trial

This weekend, Lonya and I had 2 days of AKC agility.

It was at a new trial site, which has potential to be a nice site (and pretty close to home).  The permanent rings aren't set up quite yet, and the footing in the rings we used was sketchy in some places.  But there were lots of shade trees and lots of pretty close parking.

The first thing we had to take care of was getting Lonya's permanent height card.  There were two "official" measuring people there on Saturday, so we could take care of it all in one day.  I had bought some chicken lunch meat to use for the measuring, hoping the chicken would trump having to be measured.  The woman judge (Rhonda Carter) measured us first.  Lonya took chicken from her and settled pretty quickly.  She was able to get a measurement pretty quickly, at 17.75".  The male AKC rep (don't know his name right off) took a little more time for her to settle, she's not around men very much.  She wouldn't take chicken from me with him there...but she did stop leaning in to me after a couple of minutes.  He measured her at 16.625, which is short...don't know if he read the wicket wrong or what.  I'm not sure if I should have questioned him or not...  I think the first measurement is closer to her true one (I have her at about 17.5).  But, both place her in the 16" height, so I was happy!!

Her first run (after a LONG wait) was in Jumpers With Weaves.  She ran SO well!  She's been popping out of the poles, so I wasn't sure what she'd do this weekend.  It was a nice course, but the footing wasn't great.  I think she was a bit tentative due to that (which is okay, I'm fine with a dog with some self preservation instincts!).  The trickiest part was avoiding an off course tunnel.  I had to call her off HARD, and she tucked the nubbin for a  minute.  But she recovered and finished strong.  She placed 2nd and got her second leg for her OAJ!



The Standard course was tricky, with several twisty areas and another off course tunnel looming.  Lonya's been jumping contacts, so I overhandled a bit on them, but she got them all!  I wish I had video of this run, but wasn't able to get it.  But, she ran steady and clean (with a couple of nice 180s).  She did bounce off the tire, but went through the hole.  It was the first obstacle, and I'm not sure if I had her set up quite correctly.  But, she got her first leg towards her OA!  And, she was the only dog in Open to qualify!!

On Sunday, we didn't qualify, but still had a good day!  Her JWW run was first.  The footing was again a bit tricky (it had finished raining about an hour or so before our run).  It was a really nice course!  Lonya was FAST and so I had to handle her at more of a distance, even layering a jump!  She almost ran by a jump, but fixed it last minute.  She didn't slow up when she hit the weaves, so skipped pole #2, but got it right when I fixed it.   She got a second refusal at the last jump, she was so far ahead of me that she turned back for me to catch up.  But, I was very pleased with this run overall.  The video isn't great, but I wanted to post it anyway.



Standard was a much nicer course than yesterday!  Lonya had a couple of baby dog moments.  She ran by the teeter the first time but fixed it and needed to repeat the weaves again.  Lots of dogs had problems in the area of the field where the weaves were, sniffing a lot.  This wasn't Lonya's issue...she was just being a twit!  She did have another nice call off the wrong side of the tunnel and she got all her contacts.

And I got a nice picture of her at the trial site!

Wish we were going back tomorrow, instead I have to work...

Weekend wrap up

We did two more days of CPE at Pasco Paws, Sat and Sun.

Lonya was just crazy on Sat, she was having fun, but really not doing what I asked her to!  She was really in to doing tunnels...lots of tunnels!  Her Standard run was a mess, she didn't hit any of her contacts, wasn't even close on her frame and flew off the teeter.  Her colors run was a little better...just a couple of extra tunnels!

Sunday she was a little better.   We started in Standard again.  Initially, she seemed like she was going to just go and do her own thing, so I got a little harsh with her.  Nothing horrible, just called her name a little gruffly.  She tucked tail for a second, then settled in to work WITH me...which is what I wanted.  She did her Aframe and teeter, but ran by the dogwalk.  It was raining during the run, so I didn't push it too much...I really just wanted her to run with me.  Jumpers was pretty nice, just some baby dog mistakes...running by a jump or two and backjumping them.

Sparrow had some really nice runs!  Saturday we ran Jackpot, Standard and FullHouse.

Her Jackpot was SO nice.  It was traditional, and I didn't think she would be able to get the gamble.  But, it had a nice opening for her, where she could get the opening points needed without too much difficulty.  The gamble was a tunnel, 180 into another tunnel, jump and table.  You could go at it from either side (there was a line on both sides), and you could start it whenever you wanted, but it had to be the last thing you did.  If you finished the gamble in the opening time (before the first buzzer rang), you got bonus points.  Otherwise, you had 10 seconds (I think) after the buzzer.  Sparrow actually almost got some bonus points!!  Not what I expected, but once I had enough in the open, I went for the gamble.  She was one of the few dogs that got it, I was very proud of her.  Many dogs missed that their handlers crossed at the first tunnel, or the handler stayed between tunnels one and two so the dog ran between.  Sparrow turned correctly exiting the tunnel, and I had ran past tunnel two and was able to look through the hole to see her and call her through...it worked!  She had a minor bobble going to the table, because her leash was in that chair.  Very happy with her!



Her Standard run was nice also, except I sent her to the wrong tunnel entrance.  My fault.  Full house was good too, she was very happy and peppy (she likes this cool weather!).  Again, I just ran to get enough points and get out of there...But it was a nice run.  She got 27 points and had a couple more seconds before her buzzer rang.



Sunday she Qd in colors, with a really nice run.  She actually placed above another dog who ran clean (doesn't happen all that often!)  Sunday standard...poor girl had to run in a downpour.  She did really well, and would have Qd had she not gotten spooked by the judge in her poncho.  Sparrow stopped to bark at her before weaving...which put us over time.  I had that run on video..but I accidently deleted it!  Oops!  And Jumpers, it was still rainy and she was a little scatterbrained.  She ran around a jump or two and in fixing them, we went over time again.

On Saturday, my friends gave me a very nice surprise gift.  They made Kal-El an honorary C-ATCH bar.  It was a total shock, and of course made me cry.  It really is great to have such a wonderful community of friends....

(The photos are the couple of Kal taken by Tein Tran...I wanted something to put above the bar in the photo)

Day 1 of Pasco Paws CPE

Today we had CPE agility at Pasco Paws.  Sparrow had 3 runs, Lonya had 2 (have to spread out the agility funds!)

Sparrow started out with Jackpot.  It was non traditional, which is usually good for us.  But, there was just too much real estate between the obstacles and we fell a few points short of the total we needed... I think it'll be Jackpot legs that we'll end up needing for our C-ATCH!

Standard was next for Sparrow.  Very twisty turny course, AKC Excellent like.  Sparrow doesn't like these types!  She actually did pretty well, until obstacle 16, when she was just done with being jerked around.  Screwing around getting her to jump 16 took too much time and she was over.  But, she did do a beautiful rear on the flat to the weaves....

Her last course of the day was Full House.  This one can give us trouble too, since it's a speed based class.  It was a NICE course, no contacts to slow us down.  I had a pretty good course in mind for Sparrow (which meant that Lonya was going to pretty much run the same thing...I don't remember two different courses very well...see the snooker runs from CPE Nationals for proof of this!)  She ran fast and happy!  We ended up with 32 points (which is high for her!) and 5 seconds to spare (never happens!).



Lonya's two runs were in Full House and Wild Card, level 2 in each.

Her Full House run was fun!  We pretty much did the same route as I did with Sparrow.  But, once we got to the end, I started to play around a bit and see what I could send her to.  She ended up with 34 points...I think I may have a dog that I won't struggle in Full House quite as much with! I can see how much more confident I am with Sparrow than I am with Lonya...that'll come in time I'm sure.





Her Wild Card run was actually first today.  And she was a little weasel!  I wanted to do some contacts, so I was going to have her do the dogwalk, even though it set us up for the less smooth ending.  But, I figured having to do the "harder" ending would be good for her also.   Lonya had other ideas...  She did the tunnel, jump instead!  I had walked the course a couple of times with this option, just in case my contact sucking dog decided to tunnel suck instead...  So, it ran pretty smoothly, just not what I planned!



We go back tomorrow.  Again, 3 runs for Sparrow, 2 for Lonya

New Lonya photos

Here are a few new photos of Lonya doing agility (of course).  They were taken by Pix N Pages.

Here she is checking out the camera as she goes over a jump (or probably actually watching me!).

Here's another jump shot...

And one of her going over the A-frame.  I like how she was set off against the sky here.

The Places We've Been

 I was thinking the other day, when I couldn't sleep, about the places Kal-El took me...

Kal took me into the conformation ring(UKC) for the first time.  I was terrified, and I'm sure it showed.  The judge was very nice and helped me present my dog better.  He complimented Kal (not me so much though!).  And, I later found out, caused a stir among some people when he put up a long coated WHITE shepherd over the standard colored GSD in group...the judge was Fred Lanting (Mr. GSD), and some GSD people weren't happy a white dog placed higher.

He took me into the obedience ring for the first time.  I didn't care for it very much...and neither did he.  He didn't like that I couldn't talk to him.  And the stays...!  Really, who could expect him to stay that far away from his momma!  We got our UCD by the skin of our teeth (the judge had to actually look up the rules to see if Kal NQd on the stay!).

                  (I know, this is rally, but I don't have any obedience photos)

He took me into the herding ring for the first time.  He took the instinct test, and it was magical to see him know what to do without any training at all.  And, he did it without me!  I was on the outside of the ring, watching.  He got to "play" with sheep several more times, but we never did any formal herding.

He took me onto the flyball lanes for the first time.  He LOVED flyball, and made me love it too.  He usually ran anchor, mainly because the other dogs didn't want to pass him.  He was big for a flyball dog...and if the pass was off, he was going to go anyway!  He ran down for the ball...and even faster back to me, cause he was so far away when he was at the box  LOL

And the physical places he took me.  We trialed all over Florida in various sports: Orlando, St. Petersburg, Tampa, Lakeland, Zephyrhills, Davie, Montecello, Daytona, Palm Bay, Ocala, Williston, Kissimmee, Palmetto, and I'm sure I'm missing places.

We drove to Abilene Kansas twice for white shepherd specialties.  We went to Perry Georgia for agility.  We went to the GSDCA Nationals in St. Louis and followed that up with a trial in Lawrence Kansas.  We went to Kalamazoo Michigan for the UKC Premier to show in Agility AllStars.  We drove to Beaver Falls Pennsylvania for white shepherd Nationals.   I'm not sure if I'm missing "out of state" trips..but that gives you an idea.

I know I'll continue to travel with the girls...and that they'll take me to new places.  But, it's not quite the same without Kal riding in the crate behind my seat...

Time passes....

Yes, time passes...but I don't think I've even begun to heal.  It's been one month since my heart was shattered...and I don't think it's put itself back together very well yet.  I still have moments where I feel like I've been punched in the gut...and the tears will still suddenly spring up out of nowhere.

Reading about an online friend who suddenly lost her agility GSD (to torsion) brought back all the raw emotion.  I think having only hours to come to terms with the fact that your best friend couldn't be saved makes it all the more difficult to heal...

I'm trying, the girls need me to.  And, they try.  Sparrow is good at licking away tears, and Lonya will try to get me to laugh.  Spar will bring me her ball or her bones...she gives me her treasures to try to help me feel better.

I feel the most normal at trials....and I miss him the most when I'm at home.  When I'm out, or working, I can put aside my thoughts and memories and put up a pretty good front.  But, at home, it really stands out that he's gone...he had such a presence in the house.

There's a saying (in songs and I'm sure in other places), that life's not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.  Kal took my breath away all the time...sometimes just looking at him was enough.  He was such a beautiful dog...

Day 3 of IPOC

I only showed Lonya today, in Open Standard and Open JWW.

We ran JWW first.  It was kind of a tough course...lots of "stuff" out there with some twisty parts.  But, the weave entry was set up perfectly just for Lonya!  I heard some people complaining about it, but not us!  It was a "c" shaped tunnel right into the weaves....which is what I've had set up in my backyard for ages!  She ran it pretty well, some wide turning that made her really have to work for some of the jumps.  I felt a bit frantic at times, since she's faster than what I'm used to and I couldn't get where I wanted a couple of times.  You can see a place in the video where I bail on trying to get a front cross at the last minute!  But, she was clean and got her first open Q!



(You can hear she has a bit of  a  fan club LOL)

Her Standard run was VERY nice also...just a couple of minor bobbles.  She got a weave entry that a lot of dogs missed (again, including excellent dogs, similar if not the exact same entry).  I told her "good girl" too early, at pole 11 and she didn't take #12.  She did them fine when I asked her to redo them though.  Then, she hesitated at getting on the table for a second refusal, so NQ.  But, the rest was pretty darn good.  She's SO close to Qing in Standard, it's only a matter of time!

Lonya got all her contacts this weekend, and got most of her weaves on the first try.  Only knocked one bar.  And, even after 3 days, she was still happy and bouncy!

I got a compliment from a total stranger too, which is always nice.  She said that she'd been at the trial all weekend and she just wanted to tell me that it was good to see how I was always happy with my dogs after a run, even if they messed up.  I do try to do that, they usually are trying hard to do it right...and if they have a bad day or a bad run, it just shows that they're not robots!

And, here is Sparrow's JWW run from Friday.  I hope to get Lonya's from that day too, but it's not on my camera....

Day 2 of IPOC

Another fun day at the trial...only teared up once (again, talking to another GSD person...).   The dogs did well, even though we only got 1 Q.

Sparrow was a wild child in JWW.  She did the puppy play bowing and galloping around...and in doing so, took out one bar!  But, she did have fun...!  Standard was later, but it was still cool.  She ran very well, happy!  She did have to stop to scratch an itch before weaves, but since it was Novice, it didn't even count as a refusal!  She Qd with a first place!

Lonya didn't Q, but man, she sure had some nice parts of her runs.  She was a little spooked going into the JWW run, so I altered how I started.  I hadn't walked it that way, but I didn't think I was going to be able to get my leadout, so I didn't want to let her practice breaking it.  I ended up pushing her past a jump, which she then backjumped.  She needed to redo her weaves once also.  But, man, she was running fast!  I'm a little frantic with her out there, at least it feels like it!  I didn't actually check her times today, I need to do that tomorrow....

She was a little flaky in Standard, but not as bad as yesterday.  And, she walked into the ring on her own four feet!  I have been carrying her in, since she seems less stressed that way.  But, for Standard today, she didn't ask to be picked up at all.  I was very pleased!  She hit a tough weave entry the first time, and really had to try to curve enough to get into the second pole without skipping one.  When I saw how fast she hit the entry, I figured she's miss the second pole and hit the third...but she got it!  It was a very similar (if not the exact same) weave entry the excellent dogs had, and many of them missed the entry or missed the second pole.

Lonya's really coming along...she's quite the up and coming agility star!

On a different note...the emergency clinic that I took Kal to 3 weeks ago, sent me a sympathy card.  While that is nice enough in and of itself...I was very touched that not only did the entire staff (or most of it) sign it, but the attending vet and vet tech that night wrote personal notes to me about Kal.  It made me cry again, both commented on how sweet of a boy Kal was.  Even when he was so sick, they could see how good he was...

Day 1 of IPOC

We had agility today.  The weather was beautiful and the trial site was nice.  My friends had staked out a really good spot, and I didn't even need to set up my tent, since we had shade all day!

Lonya was entered in Novice JWW and Open Std.  Her JWW run was very nice. And FAST!!  Holy crap!  She had a little bit of a lapse in the middle (I think she missed a rear cross?) but once I got her back (and after I managed to keep her from going off course!) she worked the end nice.  Great weaves!  And Q #3 for her NAJ! On to Open JWW tomorrow!

The Open Std course was nice, pretty doable (and not what I expected from this judge!).  Lonya had some major puppy brain moments though, and we struggled through it.  But, I was glad to see that she would retry the things she missed without apparent stress.  And she did 12 weaves the second time through (she missed pole 2 the first time...which happens if she doesn't slow up when she enters).  She got all her contacts too.

Sparrow ran in Novice Std and Novice JWW, preferred so 20" jumps.  Her JWW run was very nice, she liked that it was so open.  One refusal, but that was it.  She Qd!

Novice Std, she was a bit mopey.  I had got her out WAY too early!!  I think by the time she ran, she thought we were just hanging out.  Once I got her going, she ran well, but it was a bit of a struggle at first.  But, she ended up Qing there too!

I only have a little video from today, I'll upload them later, probably not until Sunday night...  Lonya's JWW run is on a friend's camera, so hopefully I'll get that in not too long.

There were a few more people today that I hadn't seen in the last three weeks...but I only teared up a couple of times.  I really get choked up around other shepherd people for some reason.  I guess it's because I know they know how special a shepherd is...

Totally unrelated, I bought Sparrow a new food bowl...and Lonya is able to retrieve this one.  I know Kal is watching and is happy she's taken this over.  It's a silly little thing, but I like it.

Logic versus emtion

It was 3 weeks ago today that I lost Kal...how can that be??

Today started out much like that day...

I got up "early" to run some errands and to start changing my sleep schedule over to being awake during the day, before 3 days of agility...exactly like that Thursday.  I was even going to pretty much the same places.

I was set to leave at about the same time even...and was going to do what I did then.  Give the dogs some treats and feed them their normal meal when I got home, which would be closer to their "normal" time.

But, part of me was scared that I'd come home to a sick dog again...I KNOW that giving Kal cookies before his meal didn't make him sick...it didn't give him hemangiosarcoma...it didn't cause his spleen to rupture.  But, I couldn't leave without feeding the dogs...even though it means I'll have to feed them again before I go to bed so they don't go too long between meals.  There's no logic with doing that...none at all.  But, the thought of leaving the house without feeding them turned my stomach.  Silly isn't it??

I also "almost" used my Wii Fit for the first time since I lost Kal...but then I realized that I need to decide what I want to do with Kal's "Mii"s on it.  Kal is a dog on it, and also a person (it was easier to weigh him as a person, since I didn't have to pick him up that way).  Both Kal the dog and Kal the person show up all the time in the games...I don't know if that'll be a comfort or a dagger...  I'm thinking to probably delete the person and keep the dog???  Then he'll still get to run with me...but I can't deal with that now...so I didn't use the Fit.  Good thing I have other exercise games!

The United White Shepherd Club put a full page memorial to Kal-El in their latest newsletter.  That was unexpected and a surprise.  It was very nice of them to do.

3 days of agility this weekend, AKC style.  I'm running Sparrow in Novice Preferred Std and JWW for 2 days and Lonya in Open Standard and Novice JWW all 3 days.  The weather is supposed to be beautiful, it's raining now but that's supposed to stop overnight.  Hoping for a Q or 2!

Weekend Trial

Lonya and I had AKC agility this weekend.  I think I'm very glad that I had agility this weekend and have it next weekend too.  The distraction it provides is very needed....it's still difficult to be at home sometimes.  And I went out to dinner with friends, and that helps too...I don't have much of a appetite now, but when I'm out I do better.

There were several people at the trial this weekend who hadn't heard about Kal-El yet...or who hadn't had a chance to talk to me yet about him.  So, more word got around this weekend.  I appreciate those who want to talk to me about him, and are okay with me tearing up.  And I also can understand the people who don't quite know what to say...  But, it is good for me to run the dogs...it helps me forget for a bit.  Though, I do still feel a bit guilty that I'm out having fun without Kal...  That's gonna happen though.

So, the trial.  Lonya was just awesome!!  She has grown up SO much in the last few months, I'm kind of thinking it's been since her second heat cycle.  She's more "dog" now than "puppy".  She still has puppy moment, but it really seems like she's figured out her job.

She was in Novice Jumpers With Weaves and Novice Standard on Saturday.  We ran Jumpers first.  She did very well!   She did blind cross me (she thought we were going one way and crossed behind me to get back on track.).  She also called off a tunnel well, even though she slipped when she did it.  She only ran around one jump and got her weaves on the first try (which she actually did all weekend!).  She Qd for her first NAJ leg!



Standard was also very nice.  I choose to run it differently than most people, what else is new.  But, I thought the "normal" way of running the opening risked a collision at the exit of the tunnel, which I didn't want to do with her.  So, I ran behind the tunnel, so I didn't have to cross.  Slightly longer for me, but it worked great!  (I love it when that happens!  LOL)  She ran around the AFrame the first time for a refusal.  She also got a refusal at the teeter, but it was 100% totally MY fault.  I front crossed her, which she did great!, and ended up out of position.  I heard the judge laugh when I told Lonya as we were running that that refusal was all my fault!   But, she still Qd and that was the 3rd leg for her NA!!

Sunday, we had Novice JWW again and I moved her to Open Standard.  Jumpers was great again!!  She held a 2 jump lead out.  She did go sniff the ring crew for a second (he was sitting right where she was running toward him after landing).  But, she got back on track quickly.  She again, ran around one jump (when I rear crossed), but fixed it well.  She Qd again for her second NAJ leg.

Standard was a tough course, it only had a couple of changes from the Excellent course (from what I could see since I didn't walk the Excellent course).  I really didn't think she'd have much chance on it, but figured we could see what we could do.  She came VERY close to Qing!!  She had 1 refusal and 1 off course.   I thought you were only allowed one mistake, so had thought we had NQd already.  I was wrong, but it didn't really matter since I still ran her like normal.  She ended up NQing on the table, when she jumped up on me!  She got all the hard stuff and NQd on a silly thing!!  She didn't run by the frame and did 12 weaves for the first time in competition.  I was thrilled with her!



I'd like to get her weaves faster, and need to work a bit more on the Aframe.  But, man, she really impressed me this weekend.

CPE photos

Sparrow:

My favorite photo of Sparrow

Overjump anyone???

Pretty girl

Tire shot

Who says you need to see where you're going?

Lonya:

Over!

Only one paw on the teeter (makes me cringe a bit!)

She's a gazelle!

A nice tire shot

Turning over the jump

Catching up to Mom!

Happy happy girlie!

Another tunnel shot

I love the nubbin sticking up in this one!

Heading your way!

Concentrating in the poles.

Ups and downs

Some days are better than others...this one was one of the better ones.

The girls gave me some excitement when I got home...Sparrow and Lonya somehow managed to catch a small bunny in the back yard.  I thought they were just playing chase with each other...and when the screaming started, I got a bit freaked!  Fortunately, they were in one of the areas where there is some light, so I was able to see they had something.  I was able to call them off it and it kind of stumbled a bit...that was too much for Lonya, so I had to pick her up.  Sparrow called off it a second time.  It was kind of hobbling away, so I put the two of them (Chey was oblivious to it all) in the house to see if I could catch it.  Of course, I couldn't find it when I got back out there (much to the girls chagrin...they were raising a ruckus in the house!).  So, I got Lonya's leash and let her track the bunny and lead me to it.  That actually worked!   So, back in the house for her and I caught the bunny in a rubbermaid.  I took it to the marshy area across the street and let it go.  It hopped away, so I hope it'll be okay.  Man, I hate the noise rabbits make!  This is only the second time I can remember hearing rabbits scream...it's not a good sound!

Still haven't found Kal's leash, but I didn't get as much done around the house this past weekend.  Hopefully I'll find it this weekend.

Another favorite Kal memory...I have some running pants that I usually wear to agility trials.  I have several different pairs.  I like them because I can wear shorts under them and they have zippers at the cuffs so I can get them off over my shoes easily.  Kal knew that these were "dog show pants".  If I put them on, he just KNEW we were going to a trial...and he wouldn't go to his room.  If I happened to want to wear them for another reason (like to go birding or somewhere else where I'd want to be able to change quickly), I couldn't put them on until after I put him away...otherwise he would try to insist that he was going with me...after all, I was wearing the dog show pants!

The goofy things that made me love my boy...

Not a good weekend

I brought Kal's ashes home tonight...I know it's not really him, but still, many more tears.  It's been that way much of the weekend though...I guess I feel that I don't have to pretend at home.  I don't have to put up a front that everything is okay, cause you know what, it's NOT okay!  I'm not okay.  The situation is not okay.  Nothing is okay.

I took Kal's stuff out of the van and put it away.  I also put away his CPE score sheet and the vet report.  I got some photos printed up for that picture frame, and may have some others to choose from soon too.  His leash wasn't in the van, so it must be in the house somewhere.  I'll try to find it tonight.

So, I need to write some happy memories...

Kal liked most people, but there were a few people that he really loved...that he included in his inner circle.  Our trialing partner Cherie was one of his most favorite people.  He would always get SO excited when he saw her at a trial, he'd lunge and pull me towards her, moaning and yowling at her.  We'd have to watch to make sure he didn't hurt her or knock her over!  Cherie let me and my dogs camp with her in her camper.  We had to block my dogs into part of the camper away from where Cherie was sleeping, or Kal would go check on her throughout the night.  We would always laugh in the morning, when we got up.  It was like Kal-El would forget while he was sleeping that we were camping with Cherie.  When he realized that he was in the camper with Cherie, he'd get so excited he could hardly stand it.  He'd whine and try to get to her to say hi, and the thumping his tail would make on the sides of the camper seemed loud enough to wake up everyone else!  He really made sure his friends knew that he liked them!

He had his eating and drinking quirks too.  He never ever swallowed that last lap of water...he'd walk away with it dripping out of his mouth.  After slipping and almost falling several times, I figured out where to put the water bowl for my safety.  I had to put it between the toilet and the tub, so when he was done, he had to back out of there.  That made him drip (mostly) over the bathmat.

Until Lonya came along, every time Kal would eat, he'd have to go rub his face on things right after he was done.  He preferred his bed or a pillow, he'd make do with a blanket or laundry if he had too.  And, if nothing was available, he come to me so I could rub his face for him.  I think he didn't like having the food in his teeth., where it would get stuck up by his molars.  Once Lonya came along though, she would take care of that for him!  She would come up to him and, even though he'd growl and snarl at her, she'd put her head in his mouth and lick his teeth to get all the loose food out.  He would sound like he hated it, but he let her do it every time, and I think he actually liked it!  I thought as Lonya grew up, she'd stop doing this, but she didn't...she'd always go clean his teeth for him.

Day by day

Yesterday was a bad day...I was fighting back tears much of the night at work and was just in an overall depressed state.  Today was better...though still not great.  I'm surprised how sometimes I can talk about Kal and what happened so easily, without tears or emotion...other times I can't hardly think about him without choking back tears.  I think the numbness is starting to wear off...

I "need" to do a few things this weekend.  I came across Kal's cool coat in the van over the weekend.  I need to move that out of there.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but for now, I'll put it away...out of sight.  I need to record the girls Qs from last weekend...but I know that Kal's record sheet is right there with the girls' sheets.  I need to put that away out of sight too.  And I need to find Kal's leash.  It's been missing for a little while, but now I really want to find it, again, to put it out of sight so I don't stumble across it in a few weeks or months.  The leash will probably go with Kal's ashes in his urn, when I get it.  I don't actually have his ashes back yet, but expect that I should get them soon.  I may call the clinic to see when I can figure for them to get them back...

I bought a picture frame at the trial last weekend, and I want to find the perfect photo for it.  I have a couple of CDs of photos to go through.  And if I can't find it there, I'll start going through the photos online from the various photographers from the trials.

And, I want to make a memorial page for Kal-El on my website.  This will be very very hard...I have a couple of poems/sayings for it and a general idea of what I want to do...but I think moving Kal's name from under the "white shepherds" heading to "in memory" is going to hurt a lot.

The girls are doing well.  Lonya has started to pick up the food bowls for me if I ask her to, though she doesn't like Sparrow's (I think it's too smooth).  And Sparrow is moving into her role as Cheyenne's hearing ear dog.  I've been leaving Sparrow in the dog room with Cheyenne when I leave, and Spar's getting better about going to that room.  Chey definitely seems calmer having Sparrow with her, which is good.  I'm toying with the idea of moving Lonya's crate to that room also, to have them all together (and give me more room in the living room), but that'll wait a week or two.

It's a short weekend for me this week, which is probably good.  And the two weekends after are both agility weekends, also probably good.  I think keeping busy is best for me right now...

Sigh...

The first night at work wasn't too too bad.  A few tough moments, but it's done.

It was hard to get home and not hear Kal yodeling for me.  When I would put my key in the door, I always would listen for Lonya moving in her crate in the living room and Kal yodeling in the dog room.  It was always such a nice welcome home...!

One of the other things he would do on work days, if I was carpooling, is wait for the car to get to the driveway.  I'd open the blinds so I could see when he got here, and Kal would watch with me.  It was the only car, other than mine, that Kal wouldn't bark at.  He'd sit or stand at the window, and as soon as he saw the car, he'd wheel around and run back to his room....sometimes he'd let me know the car was there because he'd be hauling ass down the hall way..he wanted his cookie!  (They all get cookies when I leave to go to work).   He was starting to teach this to Lonya...she would wait with him at the window.

Favorites and memories

I know that parents aren't supposed to have a favorite child...and dog owners aren't supposed to have a favorite dog.  But, I think we all know that it's just impossible for there to not be a favorite.  What does it say about a dog when he was so heavily your favorite...that now that he's gone, you don't really know who's your favorite now?  Don't get me wrong, I love my girls dearly.  But God, I loved that boy.  There's just something about a big goofy shepherd boy.  They are such momma's boys...especially when their mom is the only person in the house.

Kal seemed to know the silly things that he did that made me laugh...or just love him even more.  Simple things, like the "lean"...he was a pro at the shepherd lean.  He'd lean so hard into my legs that if I moved, he'd almost fall over.  And he would lay with me in bed, and look at me upside down, with his head flipped all the way back, and wag his tail.  That killed me every time, so so sweet.  Or when he really wanted something, he would sit very prim and proper...just wagging the very tip of his tail.  And, for whatever reason, it just tickled me to no end to see my big white boy playing with squeaky toys.  He was generally such a dignified dog...but if he had one of his favorite squeakies, he'd be just like a puppy again.  I'm sure there are a million more....

I've had a few people mention that they aren't able to read this blog, and I understand that.  I'm barely able to write it...  But, I do believe that a part of me is afraid that I'm going to forget some of the little things as time passes, and that's so not fair to Kal.  He deserves to have every little thing remembered...every quirk, every nuance, every accomplishment.  

I have to attempt to reenter the "normal" world tomorrow.  Fortunately, I think (hope) my co-workers all know what happened, and they're all animal people who know how important Kal was in my life.  

Trial today and other stuff

Today was better than yesterday.  Not quite so many tears, and no real meltdowns.  It was still hard, but it was good for me to be around people...and not in the house.  It's hard to be in the house...  Long drives are hard, I wept most of the way to the trial.  I wore a new pin that a friend gave me...it's a pewter dog angel.  It was a nice reminder of my boy.

I felt better running today...though still guilty that I was at a trial without Kal.  Sparrow had 2 runs, snooker and colors.  They were the 2nd and 5th classes.  Snooker was in the AM, when it was still pretty cool out.  There was a decent path that involved doing all tunnels in the opening, with a back to back tunnel after the last red (as a tunnel was #2).  Nice smooth closing too.  Sparrow was SO happy this run.  I don't think she quite believed me when I kept sending her to tunnels!  She did the puppy gallop and was just a crazy girl after the run.  I took her to an open area and just played with her after she was done...she was bucking, running to the end of her leash, play bowing, growling, just all out being a nut job.  She Q'd with a second place.  Her colors run was alright.  It was a tough course, you had to choose a difficult weave entry bypassing a tunnel or a 3 jump sequence doing two tight 180s.  And it was hotter out!  I choose the weave one, and Sparrow wasn't too happy that I called her off the tunnel!  She ran around one jump, but I fixed it.  She ended up Qing, one second over time.

Lonya did very well also.  She had 2 runs too, standard and jumpers.  3rd and 4th classes of the day.  Standard she NQ'd early (wasn't even CLOSE to hitting the down contact of the dogwalk!) so I played a bit.  She caught a front cross well and did her weaves the first time.  She ran by the Aframe again, so I did make her fix that.  She did it fine the second time.  I can't really remember much else about that run...but it was fun.  Her Jumpers run only had one mistake, which I had her fix.  It was a really nice, smooth, fast course.  She missed the first tunnel entry, twice.  When she missed it the second time, I was a little harsh in getting her attention back to me, but she responded and did the tunnel.  The rest of the course she did very fast!  And I could see her make a decision to take a jump rather than run around it...she had to change her direction at the last moment to take it.  Her time was 24 sec, course time was around 37...so even after screwing around at the tunnel, she was well under time.  She Qd with a first place.   She's really matured a lot in the last few months...and it was nice to hear several people tell me that.

Chey seemed stressed when I got home, though she wasn't howling when I got here (like she was yesterday). There were some interesting things that happened not too long after I got home.  At one point, I saw Lonya cleaning Chey's eyes and face.  She used to do this to Kal...never saw her do it to another dog.  Chey tolerated it for a bit, then was done and told Lonya so.  Lonya persisted and Chey snapped at her.  Sparrow got between them, then sucked up to Chey.  Lonya left Chey be after that.

When I went out for a short time a while later, I decided to leave Sparrow in the dog room with Chey (Spar normally goes in my bedroom).  Spar was a bit confused, but once she got her cookies, she was fine.  She didn't seem too put out when I got home, and Chey definitely seemed happier.  I think Kal was Chey's ears, more than I realized.  Chey can't hear me get home, and I end up surprising her when I open the door to let her out of the dog room.  So, I'm hoping Sparrow will be okay with being Chey's new ears...

Beginning to heal

We went to the agility trial today.  It wasn't easy, and I almost turned around right before I got there.  The first couple of hours were hard...very hard.  There were lots of tears and lots of hugs and lots of stories about my boy.  Several people mentioned that he was the first white shepherd that they had ever seen, how beautiful he was, and how he was such a good dog.  Fortunately, the word had gotten around on Friday, so most of the people there that I know, already knew.  I did okay most of the day.  I had one major meltdown, that fortunately was only witnessed by one person (or others who saw were kind enough to pretend they didn't).  And I think my sunglasses hid the minor random tears triggered by things.  Walking out onto the standard course for the walk thru prior to Lonya's run was hard...my next standard run was supposed to be Kal's.

My girls did very well, better than I was expecting, especially Lonya.  Sparrow ran both her runs first.  Her Jackpot was very nice.  She was slow in the opening, her feet seemed a bit sore from her allergy.  But, she was the first dog of the class to get the gamble.  And gambles are not her specialty.  She was one point short of what she needed in the opening, but it was a nice run.  Her colors run was pretty good also, she ran around one jump and I choose not to fix it.  We weren't running for Qs today, we were running to try to get things a bit back to normal.

I wasn't sure I would run Lonya at all...she's still so new to the sport, I wasn't sure it was fair to her to ask her to run when I wasn't myself.  I decided to try it and just go in and ask her to run, but not fix things.  She did so so well.  Both runs would have been Qs if I had fixed her single bobble in each.  Her colors run was really nice, she ran around a jump...when I front crossed I think.  But, the rest of it was fast and clean.  She almost ran by another jump, but fixed it.  Her time was under 14 seconds, course time was around 30.  Her other run was Standard, she again, only made one error.  She ran around the Aframe, there was a frame/tunnel discrimination and I actually thought she was going to take the tunnel.  I think she realized that was incorrect so just skipped the whole thing!  She caught a front cross really well, got her weaves on the first try, and was fast!  Under 39 sec when course time was 70.

No videos today, I didn't ask anyone to tape.  I wasn't sure what would happen, and didn't really want video evidence if I couldn't run and had to leave.

I can't believe Kal hasn't even been gone for two days yet.  I woke up this AM at almost exactly 24 hours after I let him go...  I'm seeing a couple of changes in the girls, mostly Sparrow.  I think she is trying to move into Kal's role of being our protector and leader, though she doesn't want to.  I hope that Lonya is able to take over soon..a lot to ask of a young dog, but I don't think Sparrow will be good at this job.   Sparrow has never been a dog that lunges or barks at dogs when she's in her crate, but she did that several times today...twice at a BC pup.  The pup had played with Lonya earlier, and that seemed to concern Spar, even though the play was very appropriate.   She just doesn't quite "get" what she needs to do, which doesn't surprise me, as Sparrow has never been an overly protective dog.  If she seems something outside that needs barked at, she would bark once to alert Kal, than let him take over.   I have a feeling that as the days go by, I'll be finding more and more things that Kal did to keep things running smoothly.

I plan to write about Kal here quite a bit...it's actually been good for me to write about him...even though it makes me cry.  Part of me feels guilty that we went to the trial today without him...but I really to think that he was there watching us, and telling his sisters to go easy on me this weekend.  I miss him so so much...

Losing my boy

What can you say about the best dog that you've ever owned...and probably the best one you ever will own?  Kal-El was my heart dog, the first I've had.  The moment I saw him at the airport, I knew he was put on this earth to be my dog.  He's the dog I never should have had.  I wasn't supposed to get him, but the litter I had planned on was a false pregnancy.  So, Ronda found me Kal.  It was meant to be.  Kal was a dog that would do anything that I asked of him...and I "trained" him to do several things by only asking him.  Some of his jobs were to find the cats and pick up the food bowls.  I never taught him this...I really don't know how he knew to do it.

He was the first white shepherd to do lots of things in our area.  He introduced a lot of people to the fact that german shepherds DO come in white.  I constantly have people come up to me at trials and talk to me about him...people who I don't know at all.  He was that kind of dog, the kind you remembered.  He was the first white shepherd to get a UACHX and a UGRACH, and was one leg away from being the first to get a C-ATCH.  In my heart, he got that C-ATCH.  The titles and accolades are all great, but it was the experiences he gave to me that will live on with me.

I could tell stories about Kal for hours...and still never scratch the surface about what made him, him.  He was good with all people, but if you were one of his special friends, watch out!  There was risk he'd almost knock you to the ground in his exuberance to get to you to say hi.  He was good with dogs too, he liked to play with dogs of all sizes, but if a dog snarked at him, he got his feelings hurt.  Only on a very rare occasion would he snark back, and that was only if he thought one of his sisters was being threatened.  I often jokingly called him my "perfect dog"...but really, it wasn't much of a joke.  He was almost perfect.

Kal loved to "work", no matter what I asked him to do, he tried his best.  He was a great agility dog, not the fastest one out there, but he was steady.  He saved many of our runs by making up for my poor handling.  He was a great JWW dog, which given his size, still surprises me.  He LOVED flyball, and I'll never forget people asking me if he was a wolf at our first tournament.  And the surprise of some people that we were running an intact male shepherd.  He loved to go get his ball...but then realized how far he was from me and would come running back even faster.  He really liked Rally too, more than I did actually.  It was to be our retirement sport....  Regular obedience wasn't his favorite, he hated the stays..that was too far for him to be away from me.  And an out of site stay, you're crazy if you think he'd stand for that!  Conformation was only "okay" also...while he may not have been the "best" conformation dog, his outstanding temperament won over several judges.   He did have fun the couple of times he got to play with goats and sheep.

His decline was swift and painless for him.  Less than 24 hours before his death, he was playing fetch with me in the backyard.  It is a blessing for him, I would have hated to see him suffer or linger on with a disease.  But, man, it is so hard for me.  I still hear him moving about the house, and I keep checking his sleeping spots for him.  I'm grateful that he waited until Thursday so I could be with him.  If I had been working Thursday night, I would have most likely come home to find him already gone.  I truly believe he waited so I could give him permission to go...and at the end, he still didn't want to.  It was probably the one time where he was deliberately trying to go against my wishes.   He was that type of dog...my right hand man and my son.

I hope that some day, hemangiosarcoma becomes a disease that we can say our dogs USED to die of.  I somehow knew that that is probably what would take Kal, I just didn't know that it would be this soon.  The suddenness of it all is shocking....it feels like I've been punched in the gut and I cry a lot.  The girls are handling it well, they somehow know that he is gone.  They're not looking for him or crying for him (like they did when I took him to get neutered).  They're more concerned about me, especially Lonya.  She doesn't understand why I'm crying all the time and it's upsetting her.  I'm not sure if she thinks she's the cause or not...but I'm trying to give her extra attention.  And Sparrow, bless her, is being a great big sister, playing with Lonya and distracting all of us.

If people want to share a memory of Kal, I'd be glad for you to do so here.  I really have appreciated all of the notes and messages from everyone...it helps more than you know!

Lonya's first AKC trial

Lonya had her first AKC trial this weekend!  I went into the weekend hopeful but realistic.  I know that I have lofty goals for this girl, but I also don't want to put too much pressure on her too quickly!

I am either getting better at managing her stress level at trials or she is adapting to the hectic environment.  I keep her away from the start gate until we're next up, so she's not crowded there.  And when we go to enter the "ready" area, I carry her in and set her down.  While we wait, I try to get her to play with me as a stress release. And, at the end, I have her leap into my arms, and I carry her out past the spectators then put her down and take her back for her cookies.  What I really liked is that today, in one run she was a little stressed going into the ring.  But, when I put her down, I could see her relax and go "oh, I know how to do this stuff".  She is learning!

So, her runs.  She was entered in two days, two runs each day.  One Jumpers With Weaves and one Standard.

Saturday Jumpers With Weaves.  I was nervous!!   And it showed.  LonLonLonLonLon  Really?  I don't do that normally...  She did pretty well, the course wasn't too difficult.  She only NQd due to the back jump (no off courses allowed in JWW).  I was happy to see she got her weaves on the first try (after calling her off the off course jump!).  And, she visited the ring crew for a minute.  Nice rear cross at the end though!



Saturday Standard  I was really very happy with this run.  She had good contacts, the dogwalk looked "different" to some dogs and the slats on both the walk and the frame were bigger than she's used to seeing.  She had refusals on the broad jump and the tire, both are obstacles she hasn't seen that often before.  But she did the chute really well!  Not sure why I told her to sit on the table...when I've been training an automatic down.  I think I panicked when it looked like she was about to jump off it!  She did end up Qing this run, with a 90 and a second place.  Leg 1 towards her NA!



Sunday Jumpers With Weaves  It was really hot and I should have wetted her down.  She was really distracted for this run.  I really think I also need to work more jumpers courses with her, we mostly work on Standard courses.  I probably should have just called it and not made her do the weaves...but it's hard to think like that in the ring (for me at least).  And I wanted her to push through her distractions...  Another nice rear cross at the end.



Sunday Standard  I wasn't sure what to expect.  I did wet her down before this run, so at least she was a bit cooler.  She had a very nice opening, and called off the Aframe to the teeter pretty well (though I was surprised we didn't get a refusal on the teeter).  Some weave problems again, but she did them.  Again, probably should have just moved on..but it's hard when you "know" they can do it!  Not sure why she skipped the aframe, unless it was because I had called her off it the first time she went to it.  And a very nice last four obstacles.  She Q'd with a 95 and a second place.  Leg 2 for her NA!




So, it was a very successful weekend, more than what I was expecting!  She could get her NA much quicker than I anticipated!   We're not ready for Open right now, not sure where we'll be at in a month or two.  I need to work on more handling type stuff and Jumpers courses.  I'd like to speed up her weaves a bit too, but I think that is a confidence thing!

New Blog

I can't figure out how to access my old Blog, it's linked to an old email account.  So, I'll start over!  I'm going to be realistic this time and figure to only use it to post trial results...so I have somewhere to keep track!  I may do other stuff too...but don't count on it!