Yes, time passes...but I don't think I've even begun to heal. It's been one month since my heart was shattered...and I don't think it's put itself back together very well yet. I still have moments where I feel like I've been punched in the gut...and the tears will still suddenly spring up out of nowhere.
Reading about an online friend who suddenly lost her agility GSD (to torsion) brought back all the raw emotion. I think having only hours to come to terms with the fact that your best friend couldn't be saved makes it all the more difficult to heal...
I'm trying, the girls need me to. And, they try. Sparrow is good at licking away tears, and Lonya will try to get me to laugh. Spar will bring me her ball or her bones...she gives me her treasures to try to help me feel better.
I feel the most normal at trials....and I miss him the most when I'm at home. When I'm out, or working, I can put aside my thoughts and memories and put up a pretty good front. But, at home, it really stands out that he's gone...he had such a presence in the house.
There's a saying (in songs and I'm sure in other places), that life's not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. Kal took my breath away all the time...sometimes just looking at him was enough. He was such a beautiful dog...
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