Day by day

Yesterday was a bad day...I was fighting back tears much of the night at work and was just in an overall depressed state.  Today was better...though still not great.  I'm surprised how sometimes I can talk about Kal and what happened so easily, without tears or emotion...other times I can't hardly think about him without choking back tears.  I think the numbness is starting to wear off...

I "need" to do a few things this weekend.  I came across Kal's cool coat in the van over the weekend.  I need to move that out of there.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but for now, I'll put it away...out of sight.  I need to record the girls Qs from last weekend...but I know that Kal's record sheet is right there with the girls' sheets.  I need to put that away out of sight too.  And I need to find Kal's leash.  It's been missing for a little while, but now I really want to find it, again, to put it out of sight so I don't stumble across it in a few weeks or months.  The leash will probably go with Kal's ashes in his urn, when I get it.  I don't actually have his ashes back yet, but expect that I should get them soon.  I may call the clinic to see when I can figure for them to get them back...

I bought a picture frame at the trial last weekend, and I want to find the perfect photo for it.  I have a couple of CDs of photos to go through.  And if I can't find it there, I'll start going through the photos online from the various photographers from the trials.

And, I want to make a memorial page for Kal-El on my website.  This will be very very hard...I have a couple of poems/sayings for it and a general idea of what I want to do...but I think moving Kal's name from under the "white shepherds" heading to "in memory" is going to hurt a lot.

The girls are doing well.  Lonya has started to pick up the food bowls for me if I ask her to, though she doesn't like Sparrow's (I think it's too smooth).  And Sparrow is moving into her role as Cheyenne's hearing ear dog.  I've been leaving Sparrow in the dog room with Cheyenne when I leave, and Spar's getting better about going to that room.  Chey definitely seems calmer having Sparrow with her, which is good.  I'm toying with the idea of moving Lonya's crate to that room also, to have them all together (and give me more room in the living room), but that'll wait a week or two.

It's a short weekend for me this week, which is probably good.  And the two weekends after are both agility weekends, also probably good.  I think keeping busy is best for me right now...